| Why pay the Minister? |
Most couples price shop for the services they want to hire for their wedding.
This is a good idea, as weddings can become very expensive very quickly!
The Marriage Ceremony itself is the heart of the wedding. It is the main purpose
your friends and family have traveled, some a great distance, and are present.
Often a couple will question the fees of an Officiant implying, or outright stating, they
should cost much less or be free.
Surprisingly, one of the most important services provided for the wedding - the
Officiant who makes the couple legally married while presenting a beautiful
ceremony for the couple and their guests - is the specific service most couples want
to pay the least (or nothing) for.
I'd like to say here, that if money is truly an obstacle, and you must have an Officiant
perform your marriage ceremony for free, your best bet is to call and make an
appointment at your local courthouse with a Judge and have them perform their 3
minute ceremony. It won't be romantic, personalized, customized, or in any way
unique, you must go to their chambers during specific hours they have set for
weddings during the week, and you can only have a few friends or family present as
the chambers are rather small, but it is free and it does assure that you are legally
married.
That said, if you plan to have a wedding on a weekend, in the venue of your choice,
and/or with more then 6 or 7 people present, please read on.
With regards to the percentage of the budget for each expense, your Officiant is the
smallest expense in the budget.
Many couples mistakenly believe that the officiant only spends a small amount of
time doing the actual wedding ceremony itself and spends no other time on their
wedding ceremony at all.
This is a good idea, as weddings can become very expensive very quickly!
The Marriage Ceremony itself is the heart of the wedding. It is the main purpose
your friends and family have traveled, some a great distance, and are present.
Often a couple will question the fees of an Officiant implying, or outright stating, they
should cost much less or be free.
Surprisingly, one of the most important services provided for the wedding - the
Officiant who makes the couple legally married while presenting a beautiful
ceremony for the couple and their guests - is the specific service most couples want
to pay the least (or nothing) for.
I'd like to say here, that if money is truly an obstacle, and you must have an Officiant
perform your marriage ceremony for free, your best bet is to call and make an
appointment at your local courthouse with a Judge and have them perform their 3
minute ceremony. It won't be romantic, personalized, customized, or in any way
unique, you must go to their chambers during specific hours they have set for
weddings during the week, and you can only have a few friends or family present as
the chambers are rather small, but it is free and it does assure that you are legally
married.
That said, if you plan to have a wedding on a weekend, in the venue of your choice,
and/or with more then 6 or 7 people present, please read on.
With regards to the percentage of the budget for each expense, your Officiant is the
smallest expense in the budget.
Many couples mistakenly believe that the officiant only spends a small amount of
time doing the actual wedding ceremony itself and spends no other time on their
wedding ceremony at all.
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While there are some Officiants who use a short set script (probably out of Baker's wedding handbook) in
which they simply pencil in the names of the Brides and Grooms, most of us spend a great deal more time
on your ceremony than that.
Remember while price shopping for all your wedding services: you get what you pay for.
I thought it might be helpful to look at some of the things most officiants do, and the work involved, to explain
why we charge what we do.
Most people only a generation ago belonged to a church they regularly paid a tithe to, thus helping to support
their religious official regularly. They usually had their wedding officiated by this same pastor, who had one
set ceremony allowed by the church. There was no "personalization" or "customizing" allowed.
These days many couples choose to marry someone of a different faith or culture. They might ask the pastor
of a church to perform their ceremony but if they're not members, or haven't attended for a while, they're likely
to get turned down.
More couples want more control and influence on the ceremony itself these days as well. Many couples want
their weddings outdoors, in their own homes, or some other venue that is not the church. Many ministers are
uncomfortable with these ideas, and non-traditional ceremonies, and they will not travel to the venue of
choice for the couple.
An even larger number of people no longer attend churches, and many don't have religious beliefs at all.
Independent clergy, such as myself, with interfaith beliefs that are open and accepting are a great alternative
for couples that can't, or won't, for various reasons, have their wedding in a church.
A few simple examples of the average costs for an average wedding:
Often the Bride's gown will cost as much as $1000 to $3000, to have that memorable gown for that "one
perfect day".
Then there are the photos. If they don't mind a family member taking their wedding photos with a digital
camera then they might get away with a $100 or less. But most couples want professional photos or video.
Expect to pay $1000 or more for a good photographer.
And what about a wedding cake? If they want a fantastic one, beautifully decorated, they’re looking at an
average cost of $400.00 hundred dollars. Often the couple does not bat an eye at the prices for wedding
cakes.
The invitations are pricey as well, often costing several hundred dollars for less than 100 invitations.
Flowers are another "must have" for most couples. Cost depends on what they’re willing to settle for.
Fresh flowers are not cheap no matter what the season. Artificial flowers are often less expensive if one
makes the bouquets themselves, but they are by no means cheap, especially when you make not only your
own but the maid of honor, bridesmaids and flower girl, too. Don't forget all the men's boutonnières (Groom,
Best man, Groomsmen, Father's and Grandfathers) as well as the Mother's and Grandmother's flowers.
Let’s not forget the music. A CD player with special music can be a money saver, but if a violinist, string
quartet, vocalist, pianist or DJ, is a "must have" that's another pricey addition, often $1000.00 or more.
Then there is the reception. The venue, caterer, and decorations all add up to a very large percentage of your
budget, the average cost for this is $10,000.00.
The average couple can easily spend several thousand dollars to have their dream wedding and never think
twice about it. According to recent surveys in the media at the end of 2007 the average American Wedding
costs $27,000.00.
Often when it comes to hiring an Officiant to make that dream come true - remember that the ceremony is not
only the heart of your "perfect wedding" it is also the part that makes you legally married - there is
almost always a pause followed by something like this: “$$ (quoted amount) dollars? We only need you for
20 minutes, just to pronounce us husband and wife.” Or "We're spending so much on the wedding already
we want someone who'll give us a really big discount or be free." This suggests that the party aspect of the
Wedding is much more important than the legal purpose of actually becoming husband and wife . . . . . What
are your priorities?
If your main wish is to have a fancy party, not to share your joy and celebration with your family and friends as
you become legally married, why not simply have the fancy party? Why use an excuse of a wedding to justify
a fancy party?
What a couple should consider is that an Officiant gives the couple personal consultations, at least once, but
more often many times to assist them in planning the ceremony. If asked, we can do premarital counseling,
also. E-mails and phone calls often add up to several hours, just in the planning stages.
Then there is the actual ceremony itself. Some ministers, like me, spend hours writing each wedding
ceremony specifically for each couple we are hired by. Other ministers have a large portfolio of many
different ceremonies for couples to choose from, and even the standard traditional ceremonies have different
versions to pick from.
The couple may want to write their own vows but that is only a small part of the ceremony.
The Officiant still has to write a great deal for it and put it all together in a meaningful way. He/She has to
compose and prepare the ceremony which consists of: Writing a greeting to your family and guests at the
beginning of your ceremony, writing prayers if they are requested, a formal bridal giveaway if that is
desired, addressing marriage as is required by both law and custom, writing vows that are meaningful to the
couple and asking for the vows to be said publicly, discussing the meaning of the wedding rings, blessing the
rings and writing a beautiful exchange of the rings with more vows, more prayers possibly, readings by
friends or family or music insertions (all orchestrated and timed correctly by the Officiant within the ceremony
so the flow is smooth and seamless), and of course there is the final pronouncement of being "Husband and
Wife".
This takes several hours to write, re-write, and proofread. Frequently the ceremony is then sent to the couple
to look at, and there may be revisions to make before a final approval is given.
If the couple receives a keepsake copy of the ceremony, that has to be created, typed, printed and put
together. Most officiants who do give a keepsake copy do this with special papers (pretty designs and acid
free for long life), at no additional fees regardless of the cost of paper and printing.
We often have to rehearse the wedding at some point, especially if the Bridal Party is a large one. All of this
has probably already taken up 10 -15 hours (or more) just creating the ceremony itself, putting everything
together and meeting with everyone. And remember, the actual ceremony has not yet taken place.
Many officiants have their own family and often have young children they must arrange care for while they’re
busy meeting with the couple, creating the ceremony, and then performing the ceremony itself. Often we work
far into the night on your ceremony.
There is travel time to and from the rehearsal and/or wedding, which has to be considered. While we are
doing these things for you we cannot work anywhere else. Many of us are willing to go beyond our city to
assist a bride and do her ceremony but we may ask for extra fees depending on the distance requested by
the bridal couple.
Most of us show up at the ceremony venue early to answer any last minute questions and speak to those who
were not at the rehearsal but are in the wedding party. Often we wait beyond the stated ceremony start time
for the Bridal Party to be ready, or for Great Aunt Jane or Uncle Joe to arrive. We calm those who are
nervous, and are diplomatic and work with all the other wedding professionals during this time as well.
We are ready to help with an emergency - from a bride or bridesmaid accidentally tearing her gown, to a
hairdo falling apart, a photographer, caterer or florist who is late arriving, and even an unexpected rainstorm.
The ceremony itself can be touchy - from a ring bearer becoming frightened and running in the opposite
direction, or a small flower girl falling down, to parental ex-spouses being a bit twitchy with each other.
We also have to mail or hand-deliver the marriage certificate to the county clerk in a certain time frame if the
couple chooses not to return the certificate themselves.
We have expenses for advertising as well - after all, how did you find us? We have to constantly update our
ceremony ideas and web pages. We have to read, study, and stay current with our professions as a member
of the clergy and a wedding officiant.
So when you look at the prices an officiant charges, consider this: You are getting an important
Professional service at really reasonable (even cheap) rates. Your wedding will not produce a legal
marriage without this one person, it will simply be a very expensive party.
If you broke it down into hourly fees you could be paying $2000 or more for the services you receive from a
good, dedicated, officiant, but you are paying far, far, less than that.
In fact, if you look at a spreadsheet of the costs you have already paid, or have budgeted for your wedding,
you will see that the price your officiant asks is the smallest of all the services you will pay for.
Please remember this: You can get married without the fancy gown, invitations, photos, flowers, cake,
reception ... but you cannot become legally married without an Officiant, whether it is a Judge or a Minister.
Isn't that the real point of the wedding? To become beautifully, romantically, and legally married?
which they simply pencil in the names of the Brides and Grooms, most of us spend a great deal more time
on your ceremony than that.
Remember while price shopping for all your wedding services: you get what you pay for.
I thought it might be helpful to look at some of the things most officiants do, and the work involved, to explain
why we charge what we do.
Most people only a generation ago belonged to a church they regularly paid a tithe to, thus helping to support
their religious official regularly. They usually had their wedding officiated by this same pastor, who had one
set ceremony allowed by the church. There was no "personalization" or "customizing" allowed.
These days many couples choose to marry someone of a different faith or culture. They might ask the pastor
of a church to perform their ceremony but if they're not members, or haven't attended for a while, they're likely
to get turned down.
More couples want more control and influence on the ceremony itself these days as well. Many couples want
their weddings outdoors, in their own homes, or some other venue that is not the church. Many ministers are
uncomfortable with these ideas, and non-traditional ceremonies, and they will not travel to the venue of
choice for the couple.
An even larger number of people no longer attend churches, and many don't have religious beliefs at all.
Independent clergy, such as myself, with interfaith beliefs that are open and accepting are a great alternative
for couples that can't, or won't, for various reasons, have their wedding in a church.
A few simple examples of the average costs for an average wedding:
Often the Bride's gown will cost as much as $1000 to $3000, to have that memorable gown for that "one
perfect day".
Then there are the photos. If they don't mind a family member taking their wedding photos with a digital
camera then they might get away with a $100 or less. But most couples want professional photos or video.
Expect to pay $1000 or more for a good photographer.
And what about a wedding cake? If they want a fantastic one, beautifully decorated, they’re looking at an
average cost of $400.00 hundred dollars. Often the couple does not bat an eye at the prices for wedding
cakes.
The invitations are pricey as well, often costing several hundred dollars for less than 100 invitations.
Flowers are another "must have" for most couples. Cost depends on what they’re willing to settle for.
Fresh flowers are not cheap no matter what the season. Artificial flowers are often less expensive if one
makes the bouquets themselves, but they are by no means cheap, especially when you make not only your
own but the maid of honor, bridesmaids and flower girl, too. Don't forget all the men's boutonnières (Groom,
Best man, Groomsmen, Father's and Grandfathers) as well as the Mother's and Grandmother's flowers.
Let’s not forget the music. A CD player with special music can be a money saver, but if a violinist, string
quartet, vocalist, pianist or DJ, is a "must have" that's another pricey addition, often $1000.00 or more.
Then there is the reception. The venue, caterer, and decorations all add up to a very large percentage of your
budget, the average cost for this is $10,000.00.
The average couple can easily spend several thousand dollars to have their dream wedding and never think
twice about it. According to recent surveys in the media at the end of 2007 the average American Wedding
costs $27,000.00.
Often when it comes to hiring an Officiant to make that dream come true - remember that the ceremony is not
only the heart of your "perfect wedding" it is also the part that makes you legally married - there is
almost always a pause followed by something like this: “$$ (quoted amount) dollars? We only need you for
20 minutes, just to pronounce us husband and wife.” Or "We're spending so much on the wedding already
we want someone who'll give us a really big discount or be free." This suggests that the party aspect of the
Wedding is much more important than the legal purpose of actually becoming husband and wife . . . . . What
are your priorities?
If your main wish is to have a fancy party, not to share your joy and celebration with your family and friends as
you become legally married, why not simply have the fancy party? Why use an excuse of a wedding to justify
a fancy party?
What a couple should consider is that an Officiant gives the couple personal consultations, at least once, but
more often many times to assist them in planning the ceremony. If asked, we can do premarital counseling,
also. E-mails and phone calls often add up to several hours, just in the planning stages.
Then there is the actual ceremony itself. Some ministers, like me, spend hours writing each wedding
ceremony specifically for each couple we are hired by. Other ministers have a large portfolio of many
different ceremonies for couples to choose from, and even the standard traditional ceremonies have different
versions to pick from.
The couple may want to write their own vows but that is only a small part of the ceremony.
The Officiant still has to write a great deal for it and put it all together in a meaningful way. He/She has to
compose and prepare the ceremony which consists of: Writing a greeting to your family and guests at the
beginning of your ceremony, writing prayers if they are requested, a formal bridal giveaway if that is
desired, addressing marriage as is required by both law and custom, writing vows that are meaningful to the
couple and asking for the vows to be said publicly, discussing the meaning of the wedding rings, blessing the
rings and writing a beautiful exchange of the rings with more vows, more prayers possibly, readings by
friends or family or music insertions (all orchestrated and timed correctly by the Officiant within the ceremony
so the flow is smooth and seamless), and of course there is the final pronouncement of being "Husband and
Wife".
This takes several hours to write, re-write, and proofread. Frequently the ceremony is then sent to the couple
to look at, and there may be revisions to make before a final approval is given.
If the couple receives a keepsake copy of the ceremony, that has to be created, typed, printed and put
together. Most officiants who do give a keepsake copy do this with special papers (pretty designs and acid
free for long life), at no additional fees regardless of the cost of paper and printing.
We often have to rehearse the wedding at some point, especially if the Bridal Party is a large one. All of this
has probably already taken up 10 -15 hours (or more) just creating the ceremony itself, putting everything
together and meeting with everyone. And remember, the actual ceremony has not yet taken place.
Many officiants have their own family and often have young children they must arrange care for while they’re
busy meeting with the couple, creating the ceremony, and then performing the ceremony itself. Often we work
far into the night on your ceremony.
There is travel time to and from the rehearsal and/or wedding, which has to be considered. While we are
doing these things for you we cannot work anywhere else. Many of us are willing to go beyond our city to
assist a bride and do her ceremony but we may ask for extra fees depending on the distance requested by
the bridal couple.
Most of us show up at the ceremony venue early to answer any last minute questions and speak to those who
were not at the rehearsal but are in the wedding party. Often we wait beyond the stated ceremony start time
for the Bridal Party to be ready, or for Great Aunt Jane or Uncle Joe to arrive. We calm those who are
nervous, and are diplomatic and work with all the other wedding professionals during this time as well.
We are ready to help with an emergency - from a bride or bridesmaid accidentally tearing her gown, to a
hairdo falling apart, a photographer, caterer or florist who is late arriving, and even an unexpected rainstorm.
The ceremony itself can be touchy - from a ring bearer becoming frightened and running in the opposite
direction, or a small flower girl falling down, to parental ex-spouses being a bit twitchy with each other.
We also have to mail or hand-deliver the marriage certificate to the county clerk in a certain time frame if the
couple chooses not to return the certificate themselves.
We have expenses for advertising as well - after all, how did you find us? We have to constantly update our
ceremony ideas and web pages. We have to read, study, and stay current with our professions as a member
of the clergy and a wedding officiant.
So when you look at the prices an officiant charges, consider this: You are getting an important
Professional service at really reasonable (even cheap) rates. Your wedding will not produce a legal
marriage without this one person, it will simply be a very expensive party.
If you broke it down into hourly fees you could be paying $2000 or more for the services you receive from a
good, dedicated, officiant, but you are paying far, far, less than that.
In fact, if you look at a spreadsheet of the costs you have already paid, or have budgeted for your wedding,
you will see that the price your officiant asks is the smallest of all the services you will pay for.
Please remember this: You can get married without the fancy gown, invitations, photos, flowers, cake,
reception ... but you cannot become legally married without an Officiant, whether it is a Judge or a Minister.
Isn't that the real point of the wedding? To become beautifully, romantically, and legally married?